Sandra "Marissa" Caldeira

Sandra Marissa Caldeira was born in Oakland, California on November 9, 1947 to Edward Caldeira and Irene Rose Camara Caldeira Elliott. Known as Marissa as an adult, she died on July 29, 2023, in Oakland, CA. She had one sister, Janice Caldeira Wilkes. Both parents were from families who came to the US from the Portuguese Azores via Hawaii.

Marissa began her education in Catholic school, eventually moving to public school. She graduated from Pacific High School in San Leandro, CA, in 1965.

During the Vietnam War many of her male classmates entered the military after high school, and Marissa opted to go into the U.S. Marine Corps. She served in San Diego and kept her Marine Corps friendships throughout her life.

After her discharge from the Marines, Marissa earned an associate’s degree in nursing from Chabot College in Hayward, CA., and a bachelor’s degree in nursing from California State University, Hayward (now Cal State East Bay). In the 1990s, she earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology from John F. Kennedy University. She also studied at the California Institute of Integral Studies.

Marissa began work as a nurse at Highland Hospital in Oakland, CA.; then as an obstetrics and surgical nurse in Heidelberg, Germany; as a psychiatric nurse at Providence Hospital in Oakland; and as a charge nurse in the psychiatric unit in the North County Jail in Oakland with Prison Health Care Services (where she was the charge nurse). Marissa concluded her career at John George Psychiatric Hospital in San Leandro. She retired in 2013 following a 45-year career in nursing.

Her spiritual journey began in the Catholic Church as a child and continued as she studied at the Institute for Integral Studies. She lived for a year at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondicherry, South India, then moved back to the Bay Area. Here, she joined the Unity Church. Then, in the late 1980s, she began attending Quaker meetings and became a member of the Berkeley Friends Meeting in October 1993. She has served Berkeley Friends Meeting as a member of the Ministry and Care Committee, as Recorder, on numerous “clearness” and other committees.

Marissa met Genie Stowers at Berkeley Meeting. On August 16, 1997, they married under the care of the meeting. They were married as a same-sex couple under California law in 2008. Marissa and Genie chose to celebrate the anniversary of their Quaker wedding. Marissa passed away two weeks shy of their twenty-sixth wedding anniversary.

In 1996, they began searching for a child to adopt, and in August 1998, they adopted Gabriela (Gabby) Stowers-Caldeira. Marissa, Genie, and Gabby enjoyed summers at Berkeley Tuolumne Family Camp, traveled across the country to many national parks, spent time with other adoptive families, joined with other family members on holidays, and were active parts of Gabby’s various school communities.

Marissa was a lifelong traveler. In addition to living in Germany and India, she traveled to New Zealand, Mexico, Guatemala, Europe, Canada, and Alaska.

She liked to cook, particularly her famous mac and cheese and her family’s Portuguese beef stew. She also enjoyed reading and watching films, Golden State/WNBA basketball, loved their dogs and cats, but most of all, spending time with Genie and Gabriela.

During Marissa’s retirement, she studied Portuguese, the language of her parents’ families, and listened to numerous podcasts. She also did Tai Chi, joined a BrightLine group, walked with members of the Pinole Senior Center, and got together with her friends and high school classmates.

Marissa’s health declined as lupus damaged her kidneys. After a stroke and massive heart attack, she passed away at the age of 75. Marissa is survived by spouse Genie Stowers, daughter Gabriela Stowers-Caldeira, sister Janice Wilkes, Janice’s partner Larry Sammis, and nephews Harrison and Elliott.